Does Marriage Counseling Work? (2024)

FAQs

Does Marriage Counseling Work? ›

More than 98% of couples who try marriage counseling report that therapy sessions are either “excellent” or “good” Of couples who try marriage counseling, 90% say emotional health has improved. Two-thirds say they've seen improvements in their physical health after seeking counseling.

In fact, research shows that couples therapy positively impacts 70% of those receiving treatment. And for many couples, seeking out professional help can be the difference between making the long haul or becoming a divorce statistic. But what exactly is marriage counseling, and how does it work?

Marriage counseling can be worthwhile for any couple who wants to find ways to make their partnership better. It can be helpful at various points in a relationship and can address a wide variety of issues that might exist in a marriage.

Almost 50 percent of all marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. 7. Researchers estimate that 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.

Divorce Rates in America (Editor's Pick) The current divorce rate in the US is 2.3 persons per 1,000 people. Overall, the rate of divorces in America is falling. Divorces amongst people aged 50+ years are rising.

Your relationship can survive without counseling if each of you is willing to put in the effort. Trying another exercise instead of counseling can improve your relationship and help you overcome the problems.

Couples therapy is for people who are having problems in their relationship, whereas all kinds of people go to marriage counseling to strengthen a relationship and get coping tools to deal with future challenges in a healthy way.

What is the negative side of counseling? ›

They include treatment failure and deterioration of symptoms, emergence of new symptoms, suicidality, occupational problems or stigmatization, changes in the social network or strains in relationships, therapy dependence, or undermining of self‐efficacy."

Marriage counseling tends to deal with present day events rather than the past. It focuses on the 'now' and the challenges of married life so that you can get your relationship back on track. Couples therapy deals with the present day but also any history that causes unhealthy patterns of relating.

Couples therapy helps narcissism much better than individual therapy — because the partner is involved in the effort. When the therapist works with the two of you, there is a much better chance of success — because there is so much more leverage.

Couples therapy can be very effective. The American Psychological Association (APA) states that marriage counseling that uses Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) is effective and helpful for about 75% of couples.

According to various studies, the 4 most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.

While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.

The average age for a couple entering their first divorce is 30 years old. And 60% of divorces involve spouses between the ages of 25 and 39. Women are more likely to file for divorce than men. The highest divorce rate is for African-American women aged 50 to 59.

A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women.

The average length of a first marriage in the United States clocks in at seven years. Most of those people get married for a second time, which can also end in divorce. Second marriages have a 60% chance of ending, and third marriages have a 73% chance of divorce. The odds increase the more marriages someone has.

What state has the longest lasting marriages? ›

Although couples would like for their love to last forever, a new study finds where you live may have a lot to say about that. The analysis, conducted by Point2Homes, reveals there's nowhere else in the U.S. that “*ntil death do us part” means more than in West Virginia and Maine.

When the partner turns all the way around and away from the marriage when the truth and seriousness of the unhappiness is revealed, the true Marriage Crisis begins. “The Marriage Crisis begins in earnest when both partners are completely aware that the marriage may end due to one partner's extreme unhappiness.” –

Sharing something you think is too sensitive or personal can be uncomfortable. But know you're not alone in thinking you've disclosed too much in therapy. When this happens, it can help to explore why you think you've overshared and talk it over with your therapist.

Hands. Your client's hands can give you clues about how they're reacting to what comes up in the session. Trembling fingers can indicate anxiety or fear. Fists that clench or clutch the edges of clothing or furniture can suggest anger.

Although marriage counseling has proven effective for many couples, there are times when marriage counseling may not be your best option. Marriage counseling is not recommended for couples struggling with domestic violence or for those who are already “checked out” of the relationship.

What type of counselor is best for marriage? ›

Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

A licensed marriage family therapist specializes in working with couples and families. These professionals focus on helping people repair relationships and develop essential relationship skills.

There Are Many Benefits. For couples looking to improve the communication between themselves and their significant other, seeing the same counselor separately or even the same counselor together can help communication and problem solving greatly.

No couples therapy has as much research support as Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Ninety percent (90%) of couples who go through EFT significantly improve their relationship and 70-75% of couples no longer fit criteria for relationship distress following treatment (according to a metanalysis).

Some types of unethical behavior seen in the therapy space are: Violating confidentiality. Abandoning you as a client. Contacting you outside of office hours.

One of the most challenging aspects of conducting therapy is finessing the balance between meeting clients where they are at and also encouraging them to grow.

Individuals fear judgment, change, the unknown, and what they might discover in therapy; additionally, they're too prideful to admit they need help. Additionally, some people doubt the efficacy of mental health treatment: They're uncertain it will work or misunderstand how it works.

For those who are not struggling with personal mental health challenges (anxiety, depression, etc.) but are dealing with issues in their relationship, couples counseling alone might be sufficient. If personal and relationship struggles are present, though, both individual and couples counseling may be more effective.

Gottman Therapy is a research-based therapy that aims to help couples build stronger relationships. The therapy posits that conflicts in relationships fall into two categories. They can either be resolved or they are perpetual. Perpetual conflicts are always part of the relationship.

A husband and wife should attend the same therapist in order to make the same progress together and to be cured in the same way. Usually, if only one partner undergoes therapy, it will be good only for them as an individual.

If a temporary separation is done in the right way and for the right reasons, and there are clear agreements, it can help couples gain perspective on their relationship and actually strengthen it.

How do you know when it's time to divorce? ›

Can a narcissist have a happy marriage? Unfortunately, the answer is almost always “no.” The photos and the couple's public behavior show one thing, while something much less appealing is going on behind the scenes.

At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.

Chronic abuse can lead to symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), especially in victims who experienced other traumas. The result of narcissistic abuse can also include a pervasive sense of shame, overwhelming feelings of helplessness, and emotional flashbacks.

According to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, the success rate of marriage counseling is around 70%.

In fact, studies show a 75 percent success rate for couples who complete the program, even though at least a third are separated when they come to the weekend.

What is common to all of the marital therapies reviewed? -provides a hopeful new perspective on how such difficulties can be overcome. -provides a means of changing patterns of interaction that have been causing distress, -increases a couple's repertoire of more effective, more desirable behavior.

-integrative behavioral couple therapy seeks to encourage more desirable behavior and teach the partners to tolerantly accept the incompatibilities they cannot change.

Separation can be good for marriage depending on the circ*mstances of the couple. If both partners are willing to work through current problems, separation can be a great way to process individual issues before reuniting. With that said, about 80 percent of separations ultimately lead to divorce.

Can trial separation save your marriage? ›

If a temporary separation is done in the right way and for the right reasons, and there are clear agreements, it can help couples gain perspective on their relationship and actually strengthen it.

A recent study concluded that while the vast majority of married couples who separate will eventually divorce (within three years), approximately 15% remain separated indefinitely, even past the 10-year mark.

With physical intimacy being one of the ways for a partner to communicate feelings, its absence can cause a void that can create a barrier over time. Over time, it can make the partners experience abandonment issues. This can begin a cycle where the abandoned partner can start distancing themselves in turn.

The lack of physical touch, emotional connection, and sexual intimacy can lead to feelings of loneliness, depression, and low self-esteem. It can also cause physical symptoms such as headaches, insomnia, and decreased libido.

Clinical Psychologist (CP)

You may want to see a psychologist for marriage counseling if you believe your partner or you may be dealing with an undiagnosed mental health condition. As mental health professionals, psychologists must pass state and national licensing exams and obtain a doctoral degree in psychology.

The Gottman Method aims "to disarm conflicting verbal communication; increase intimacy, respect, and affection; remove barriers that create a feeling of stagnancy, and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding within the context of the relationship."1.

Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be totally unresponsive, making evasive maneuver such as tuning out, turning away, acting busy, or engaging in obsessive behaviors.

About Contempt

Contempt comes from a place of superiority and makes the other feel inferior. Deep down, it stems from a sense of feeling unappreciated and unacknowledged in the relationship. It can take the form of verbal or non-verbal language, which can include sarcasm, mockery, and facial gestures.

Many times, this is due to fear, uncertainty and societal myths that paint therapy in a false light. It can also be the result of certain misguided viewpoints including: They underestimate their problems. Many people view therapy as a last resort for people with especially serious emotional or psychological issues.

Communication is key to a happy marriage. Happy wives tell their husbands everything — worries, fears, accomplishments and joys. She's not afraid to say what she's feeling and she loves having those daily conversations. If she's happy, she'll try as hard as she can to have the best relationship with your family.

What to do when your spouse won't change? ›